Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Gratitude is the key to changing your attitude and seeing the good in your life. In times of uncertainty, through feelings of fear and loss, gratitude will lift your spirits and warm your heart. You may not be able to control what happens in your life, but you can control how your respond or react. Expressing gratitude is a powerful tool of transformation.

What are you grateful for in your life?   

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

New Beginnings

Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, and the welcoming of the summer season. In this year of change, the beginning months brought a great deal of unexpected changes for many people. Some were perceived as good changes, while others were perceived as shocking and surreal. This particular summer solstice carries some additional magic, and it feels that the planets that have been "out of sorts" are coming back into alignnment. There is a strange, but far better, shift in the Universe as of today. Now is the time to be mindful of your thoughts and actions. Whether you are beginning something new, or beginning something again, harness the energy of the summer solstice. As my daughter, Kelci, prepares to graduate high school, I am aware of the bittersweet nature of new beginnings. Expect only good in your life.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Mid Life Crisis

What is a mid-life crisis?

A Mid-life crisis is when a person reaches what they perceive as the middle of their life and take an inventory of both their successes and failures. They become frightened when thinking about how quickly time passes and perhaps struggle with the uncertainty of the future. Stress or life changes (empty nest) can trigger the desire to have somethng more or something different in one's life. The person is vulnerable during this time. There is an urgency to make changes, and therefore, their behavior becomes impulsive without a reasonable explanation. They seek to find what they feel is missing. Major purchases, unexpected moves, extramarital affairs are commonly associated with a mid life crisis. When a mid life crisis occurs in an otherwise stable home, it can be devastating to the other family members. The family feels shocked and wonders what happened to the person that they knew and loved and who loved and adored them. It is hard to understand how anyone would want to purposely turn their life upside down to find what they think they are missing.

A mid life crisis can be avoided if you do the emotional work necessary for life fulfillment. A person whose life is fulfilling is not likely to have a mid life crisis. They are content with where they live, who they live with and how they spend a day. They feel gratitude for their health, their home and their family. All is well for the fulfilled person. They do not long for something more, nor do they need to hunt for fulfillment in something new. They are content and proud of all that they have accomplished thus far in their lives.  They see the future as a wondrous adventure filled with more time with loved ones, as well as time to accomplish their continued goals (bucket list).  

Monday, June 18, 2012

Working through differences

If no two people are exactly the same with regard to personality, history, and perceptions, then of course there will be differences. There can be differences of perception, as well as differences of opinion. Regardless of what type of differences you may be experiencing in your life, it is essential  to learn how to work through such differences. When faced with differences, people will either give in,  give up, or confront. Giving in allows you to surrender with trust, while giving up leads you to surrender with fear and mistrust. To confront is to gain understanding and move toward resolution. Too many people give up and therefore surrender the opportunity to learn how to work through differences. To work through differences, requires honest communication, understanding and a willingness to move beyond the strong emotions of hurt and anger. It may mean accepting responsibility for oneself and one's actions and perhaps, saying "I am sorry." Hurt causes divorce. Imagine how many people would still be married if they knew how to work through differences, rather than to give up and perceive that nothing will change, so "why bother." Marriages, family relationships, friendships and life are worth the effort! Learn how to work through your differences, and the emotions they cause, so as to keep beautiful people in your life.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Plan B

Success in life has very little to do with how you expect Plan A to go, but how well you handle Plan B. The plans for today seemed pretty set, and the day began well. When family lost power, they called to ask if they could come over and cook their dinner. We had just eaten and there was plenty of leftovers to share.  And so they did, and I enjoyed their company. I sat back and noticed how well it all seemed to happen. Life is much like that. Things change. Plans change. People change.

The lesson: Even when the unexpected happens, all can continue to be well. It is simply different than what was expected.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

What is integrity?

Integrity is when who you are on the inside (your character) is congruent to your actions and the way that you live your life. There are obvious, as well as subtle violations of integrity. The obvious violations of integrity are those that are often avoided, while the subtle violations of integrity are more common.

                                          Integrity is:
being honest
arriving on time
honoring your word
keeping your commitments
telling a cashier that she miscounted your change
following through on your promises
meeting your financial responsibilities
being where you said you would be
paying your parking tickets
leaving tasks unfinished

The Universe rewards a person of good integrity. To live in your integrity is to do what is right, regardless of how difficult or inconvenient. Integrity is the ability to live your life as if someone from above could look down at how you are behaving,
and you feel proud of what they see.
Integrity directs your course in life.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Are you passive aggressive?

Most people will not admit to being passive aggressive even if they are passive aggressive . Afterall, it seems like a negative characteristic that people would rather deny than take the time to understand and to transform.

But what does it mean to be passive aggressive?

 Put simply, a person uses behaviors to replace their inadequate verbal communication. The passive aggressive person may easily disassociate from or shut down their uncomfortable emotions. This makes it difficult to adequately identify the emotion, and to express it verbally. When confronted, they may simply respond with "I don't know."  It is common for a person to feel hurt and then to engage in a behavior (i.e. silent treatment) to punish the person who hurt their feelings. They need to retaliate in hopes that the other person will figure out that they feel hurt. The behavior replaces the words, "you hurt my feelings."

Sadly, the passive aggressive person feels misunderstood. They are difficult to read. Words, not behaviors, enable others to clearly understand your feelings. It should not be a guessing game. It is not the responsibility of others to figure out what you are feeling or to somehow draw out your concealed emotions. It is your responsibility to understand your feelings and to express them in a way that others can understand you.  To be verbally expressive is to be understood. To be understood is to let others know your inner self.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

For the Love of Family

Do you love and adore your family? Or do you perceive your family as one chore after another, a burden to carry? Much of how we perceive our families as adults has to do with how we experienced our families as children and adolescents. As a result you either appreciate or resent those that you love. If you love and adore your family, you appreciate your family and you see them as a gift to your living. You do not want to live life without them. You enjoy your time spent caring for them.  If you resent your family, you see them as a burden that needs to be lifted. You become desperate to alleviate the overwhelming sense of responsibility that keeps you enslaved. You look for a much needed escape for working so hard for what feels like so little in return. This is a typical response when given family responsibilities at a young age.  As you transform resentment into love, you shift your perception of family from burden to the gift they truly are. You experience the responsibilities as loving ways to nurture and care for your loved ones. You give lovingly and you receive lovingly.

To create a family is to honor a commitment
To be in a family is to appreciate being loved and cared for.
To run a family is to be respected and admired.
To love a family is to fill your heart. 
To enjoy a family is to take time to play
To keep a family is to express love and kindness.   

Monday, June 11, 2012


Memories kept in the recesses of my mind bring comfort and gratitude. Although, they simply remind me of the past, they keep me in a place of gratitude in the present. I easily recall the beautiful moments  with my small children, Disney vacations as a family, and my daughter selling painted seashells while camping at the ocean. Without such memories, I might forget how blessed my life truly is. If I lived only in this moment and forgot all that has led me to this moment, something in my heart would be missing. Like old photographs that capture loved ones being happy, the memories of my life capture the joy of a life well lived.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Your Life Path

As much as you might prefer your life to follow a path that is smooth, clear and familiar, it does not typically happen. It certainly would be nice to clearly see what lies up ahead, so as to either avoid impending disaster or feel reassured by its appearance of good things. Yet life includes the unexpected obstacles and detours that leave you wondering if you will be okay and if you can handle the changes. Such changes in life, and unforeseen curves on the path, are only to make you a stronger and more adaptable individual. Like a tree whose branches shift to accommodate a strong wind, you too must learn to be flexible enough to bend, so as not to break during difficult and challenging times. Know that Spirit guides your path at all times and wants you to practice greater trust and faith. Faith is believing without seeing. If the path was predictable, how would you practice faith?

Although I cannot see what lies ahead,
I take one step at a time,
Knowing that I walk in faith,
And trust that all is well.