When your world is crumbling

Are there days when you feel as if your world is crumbling?
Things appear out of control,
Feelings seem overwhelming.
You perceive things to be worse than they probably are.
You ask yourself, What do I do now?
You pause.
                 You breathe.
                                 You steady yourself.

You reassure yourself, "It will be okay."
And tomorrow, It is different.

Do not allow the challenges of today to mislead you into believing that your world is crumbling. Your challenges are only to teach you lessons in faith, trust and patience.

Your Household Climate

What is your Household Climate?

Mostly sunny, where dispositions are mostly sunny and positive. You feel uplifted and happy.
Partly sunny, with an occasional cloud. Some sunshine with the occasional gloom.
Mostly cloudy, where dispositions are mostly negative. You feel drained and tired.
Partly cloudy, with an occasional burst of sunshine.
Warm, where hearts are open and closeness prevails
Cold, where hearts are closed and distance prevails.
Scattered Snow showers, light and fluffy, able to allow things to happen with ease
Scattered Rain showers, pouring of emotion, letting emotions flow.
Stormy, power struggles and conflict prevail. Someone needs their way.
Hurricane Warning, Incoming chaos, must always be prepared
Tornado Warning, Powerful force at risk for rearranging your day,if not your life.
Calm, where peace and tranquility prevail. Home is your respite from the busy world.

Why Does It Bother You?

You tell me that it upsets you that I do not laugh like I used to. 

 

Why does it bother you that I do not laugh of lately?  

Do you squirm in your own discomfort that you are not good enough if you fail to make me happy?

 

What if I am happy...and it has nothing to do with you?

 

What if you are sad...and it has nothing to do with me?

 

Are you passive aggressive?

Most people will not admit to being passive aggressive even if they are passive aggressive . Afterall, it seems like a negative characteristic that people would rather deny than take the time to understand and to transform.

But what does it mean to be passive aggressive?

 Put simply, a person uses behaviors to replace their inadequate verbal communication. The passive aggressive person may easily disassociate from or shut down their uncomfortable emotions. This makes it difficult to adequately identify the emotion, and to express it verbally. When confronted, they may simply respond with "I don't know."  It is common for a person to feel hurt and then to engage in a behavior (i.e. silent treatment) to punish the person who hurt their feelings. They need to retaliate in hopes that the other person will figure out that they feel hurt. The behavior replaces the words, "you hurt my feelings."

Sadly, the passive aggressive person feels misunderstood. They are difficult to read. Words, not behaviors, enable others to clearly understand your feelings. It should not be a guessing game. It is not the responsibility of others to figure out what you are feeling or to somehow draw out your concealed emotions. It is your responsibility to understand your feelings and to express them in a way that others can understand you.  To be verbally expressive is to be understood. To be understood is to let others know your inner self.

The Need for Order

Do you have a need for order? Are you the type of person who gets irritable if your house or desk is out of order? In other words, does a lack of order cause an emotional reaction? If so, you are not alone. Many people are adversely affected by a lack of order, which is often related to the condition of their childhood environment. Many people crave order as a result of growing up in chaotic home environments. Whether there were emotional conflicts between family members, or the challenge of trying to find your belongings, chaos can leave its impression in adulthood. You can either continue the pattern of chaos as it is familiar and comfortable, or you can do the opposite, so as not to feel the same way you did as a child. A lack of order can be associated with a lack of control.  Thus, life feels overwhelming. It is then necessary to gain control. You want to know where the scissors are when you need them.

We often hope for order, but do not always take the time to create order. It takes someone coming to visit for a weekend to put things in order. During times of feeling emotionally overwhelmed, put something simple in order. Clean out a drawer. Tidy up a closet. Order allows us to feel grounded and renews our feeling of security in the world.