Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Healing Shame

Shame is a pervasive feeling that affects a person’s living. Without addressing shame, one continues to live his/her life in severe emotional pain that attracts suffering through unhappiness, job dissatisfaction or life dissatisfaction. Shame can be identified by the following beliefs, feelings or behaviors:


I am bad.                                                             There is something wrong with me
It is all my fault.                                                 I am not good enough.

I disappoint others.                                         I can’t do anything right.
I am a loser.


Fear                                                        Shame                                          Humiliation          
Fear of what others think                   Embarrassment                          Exposure

Fear of disappointing others              Unworthiness

Fear of failure                                        Inadequacy


Keeps secrets                                     Quiet/shares little                                     Speaks in a low voice
Hides behind long hair/hats           Cannot admit to making a mistake       Avoids exposure       
Wears more clothing than is          Runs away to avoid confrontation (being exposed)    Hiding
 needed to hide the body  


The only way to successfully heal shame is through safe exposure, such as group therapy. Shame is healed by sharing one’s secrets and shameful thoughts and feelings. To heal shame is to free one’s soul from the ongoing feelings of persecution and unworthiness.

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