Sunday, October 28, 2012

Do you give up or give in?

Do you give up?

To give up is to Surrender. It is the feeling that you will not win regardless of what you try and so you choose not to try. You throw out the white flag and surrender to the loss. You could try, but trying would require effort toward what feels hopeless. When you give up, you are attempting to avoid the familiar feeling of failure.  People who give up already feel like a failure and therefore want to avoid adding additional demerits to their low self-worth. 

Do you give in?

To give in is to experience Defeat. When you give in, you surrender your power to someone else. You subconsciously allow another person to lead, and to decide for you. You defer to them. This is a pattern that tends to occur for the person that lacks self-worth. When you lack self -worth,  you are at risk for allowing others to lead you, as your worth is determined by someone else.  You only feel worth something if someone makes you feel that you are worth something.
A person may also give in for fear of conflict. In an attempt to avoid conflict (AKA angry reaction), you acquiesce to the desires of someone else. It is only after some time of doing so, that you then convince yourself that the other person is controlling or manipulating you, and react by pushing them away. In truth, you subconsciously asked to be led and then eventually resented it, as it is disabling to the self-esteem. It keeps you stuck in failure mode.

Whether your tendency is to give up or give in, you choose to fail. You fail to develop your sense of self, your confidence and your knowledge.  Learn to TRY, regardless of the outcome. You will learn how to do things for the next time. You will learn from your mistakes. In the end, you will feel like a success and not a failure, as you developed knowledge and skills that you take forward. Speak up and allow others to know your feelings and needs. Perseverance and Assertiveness brings SUCCESS!

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