Sunday, October 21, 2012

Dependency or Self-Reliance?

As a human being, it is possible to become dependent on other people. Perhaps you feel afraid of being alone or believe that you are incapable? Thus, you create a dependency on another person to take care of you physically, emotionally or financially. You are physically dependent when you allow someone to do your laundry, cook your dinner, or make your dental appointment. You are emotionally dependent on another person to make you laugh, to reassure you, or to tell you that you are capable. You are financially dependent when you allow someone to provide for you by paying your bills, buying your dinner, or paying for your entertainment.  It may seem warm and wonderful to be taken care of by another, particularly if it is perceived as nurturance.

However, problems arise when  depending on another person:
1) You feel guilty or ashamed for not being able to take care of yourself
2) You come to believe that you are incapable
3) You feel like you are a burden to others
4) The other person may eventually resent taking care of you
5) You are likely to remain dependent.

The gift of self-reliance is that you share your time with loved ones, but do not need them to take care of you. You feel confident and secure in providing for yourself physically, emotionally and financially.  You assume responsibility for meeting your needs. You take care of your laundry and pay your bills. You make yourself happy. You have the power to create an enjoyable life for yourself.   

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