The second level of communication is to be UNDERSTOOD. Although your words are heard, it does not guarantee that you are understood. To be understood is to be listened to. It is the belief that someone actually "gets you" and knows you in a deeper, more complex way. There are many people who go through life never feeling understood. They say, "You don't understand." It is sometimes related to their inability to communicate effectively. It may also be related to a lack of safety in being exposed (known) to others. "You never listen" translates into "You never understand who I am or what I am really trying to tell you."
Learn to communicate in a way that allow others to
not only hear you, but to understand you.
To improve communication:
1) Ask if you heard the person correctly (Is this what you said?)
2) Ask if you understood the meaning of their words. ("Is this what you meant?")
3) Do not interrupt. It means you are not listening. Let others speak.
4) Avoid interpreting what is being said (I think you said..)
5) Avoid making assumptions. (I think you meant...)