Inspired Thoughts and Reflections

Flow of Energy

2012-02-27T20:10:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wonder about the flow of energy in your life? When recognized you know when you are in the flow of things and all is well. It is alchemy, when all that you touch turns to gold. You are energy and therefore, your life experiences are affected either positively or negatively by your energy. Positive thoughts produce positive experiences. But what about the times, when the energy of your life may be stuck, stagnating the flow of good to and from your living. It is during these times when you may feel frustrated or discouraged. Do not lose hope. Learn to shift your energy. Meditate and open your heart. Take time for yourself. Breathe. Smile. Laugh. Express Gratitude. Move your body.

You will know your energy has shifted when pets and small children seek you out. Others may seek you out as well, but it is most readily observed when it comes from the unconditional love of children and animals. Remind yourself that Life is indeed good, regardless of current circumstances. Move the energy within you to allow the energy around you to flow easily.

Letting Go of Guilt

2012-02-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

Guilt is a powerful emotion that prevents many people from enjoying their lives fully. It has the power of maintaining scarcity, as the guilty person feels unworthy of having that which they desire. Consequently, they live their lives wanting that which they feel unworthy of having. The most common form of guilt is suvivor guilt. It is the feeling associated with surviving something that others did not have the fortune of surviving. In the moment it is devastating, and sadly has lasting effects. For example if you had an ill sibling who passed away at a young age, you may go through life struggling with survivor guilt. Survivor guilt can also originate from a previous lifetime and carry into this lifetime. Healing guilt is mastered only by accessing the unconscious beliefs and associated decisions, which are typically related to unworthiness. It is an unexplainable freedom to let go of the life inprisonment of guilt.

I Deserve to Have

Believe in Abundance

2012-02-09T19:32:00.000-08:00

What do you believe to be true about your finances? Your chosen beliefs have a powerful influence on what you will experience. Take a moment to think about what your beliefs are about money? Do you believe that money “comes and goes,” or that “there is never enough”? Such beliefs create the experience. The mind is powerful and listens well to the information that you provide. It is necessary to believe in abundance in order to actually have it. If you believe that abundance only comes to others, rather than yourself, you will unconsciously keep your abundance at a distance. Allow your chosen beliefs to support you in the process of creating abundance.

It is okay to live a life of abundance. Begin to claim it today.

The Power of your Thoughts

2012-02-08T05:54:00.000-08:00

Negative thoughts produce negative feelings,

and therefore negative reactions.

Positive thoughts produce positive feelings,

and therefore positive reactions.

What are you thinking?

It is OK to Modify

2012-01-30T20:39:00.000-08:00

There are times and experiences in our life that call us to modify in some way. Consider, for example, when you are interested in trying a new yoga posture. It may feel uncomfortable, if not impossible, to perform the first time without making some kind of modification. And so, you choose to grab a yoga block for addtional support, modify the position, and still achieve success! And so in life, there are times when modifications are necessary in order to achieve success. I, too, have needed to make some modifications recently in my life to insure that I meet my needs for living fully and my needs for writing. This year, I am dedicating some necessary time to working on my third book. (Can you hear the angels applauding?) and therefore will balance my writing time between book writing and blog writing. I confess that I was not giving myself the necessary time to read, sleep or meditate on a regular basis as there was too much to do in a day. Therefore, it is time to modify. Make the time for what really matters.

Is there something that you must modify in your life, in order to take better care of yourself?

Belonging

2012-01-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

Belonging:

The Longing to Be… Connected!

The Greatest Gift You Could Give

2012-01-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

The greatest gift you could ever give

Is your time.

In the end, nothing else will matter.

Why do a personal growth program?

2012-01-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

This is a question that I am asked on occasion when someone is on the fence with regard to attending the Light of the Soul: Journey to Wholeness personal growth program. Initially, I cannot help but to chuckle. Why wouldn’t you? Too often we get stuck in life and we settle for what is, rather than to create what could be. As intimidating and scary as the idea of attending may be, the benefits are enormous.

To put it simply, attending a personal growth weekend makes your whole life different. You feel different. You look different. You see life differently. You experience life differently. You are better equipped to handle circumstances. You allow people to know your true self. You get to understand your true self. You learn to speak your truth. You learn to accept others. You develop a genuine love for yourself. You heal you mind and body connection. You stop making excuses. You see your children as a gift rather than as a chore. You break longstanding patterns. You develop strength from within. You open your heart. You open to healthy, supportive relationships. You heal your relationship with money. You increase your self-esteem. You feel happy. You increase your self-worth. You feel content. You learn to laugh and have fun. You discover what peace really is.

2012 is the year of change. See what a difference a personal growth weekend can make for your living. For information on 2012 programs, visit www.personalgrowthweekends.com

Make this the year that so much changes…

Resolutions

2012-01-04T20:40:00.000-08:00

Tis the season for making resolutions; to identify what you would like to do differently in the coming year. Personally, I prefer goals to resolutions. Resolutions are merely words, while goals require action. The most common resolutions are to lose weight (improve health), or save money. Let this year be the year that you stick to your guns and make positive changes that last beyond the month of January. Write down your goals for the year. By writing down your goals you actually commit to it with the simplest of action. You wrote it down. Do more than resolve to do something differently this year. Take the actual steps (even if they are small steps) necessary to reach your goal. Ask yourself questions that put action behind your words.

How will you lose weight?
What will you do in order to lose weight this year?
How will you save money?
What will you do in order to save money this year?

And make 2012 your most successful year!

Trying your Hardest

2012-01-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

Today I had the privilege to observe several young people pushing hard to conquer their particular tasks at hand, only to come away feeling as if they failed. I think that we can all relate to pushing so hard to have a desired outcome and feeling disappointed when the outcome is other than what was desired. We feel deflated. Whether it was a boy missing what he perceived as an important shot in a basketball game, or a first year cheerleader feeling discouraged that she is not as good as the others, or the skater feeling the pressure to perform perfectly, it is not difficult to resonate with these familiar feelings. When you feel as if you are giving your all, trying your hardest and still not succeeding, it takes a toll on you and you begin to look at life through the glasses of despair. Let the truth be known. If you are truly trying your hardest, you cannot fail. Sure, the outcome may not have been as desired, but you persevered and learned lessons that will remain with you for years to come. You came away recognizing that there are battles in life that you must fight, knowing that you will win some and lose others. Be willing to persevere. Make a promise to yourself to always keep trying until you reach the place you wish to get to. Do not allow discouragement, disappointment or despair to rob you of the success that you deserve. Praise your continued efforts. They will pay off as long as you stay the course.

Back to Work...

2012-01-02T20:22:00.000-08:00

As I ready to return to my regularly scheduled work life, I am reminded of a quote from Dr. Seuss:

                             Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

I chose to take some time this Holiday Season to immerse myself in the wonderful experience of being with family and friends. I can truly say that I loved every minute of it. As is true for many people, I feel sad to see it end. It saddens me to say goodbye to the precious time with family and friends, and the days without time pressures and demands. But like other experiences, it is necessary to say goodbye and to separate ourselves from that which is leaving us. Have you ever noticed the word good in the word goodbye? That is not random. Unfortunately, we as humans are terrible with saying goodbye. We would rather sneak out without being noticed or sever ties completely than to simply say a good bye. We prefer to avoid the feelings of sadness, fear or shame that often accompanies a goodbye, and so sadly we make it a bad (unhealthy) bye. We dislike separation, despite the fact that they cannot be avoided in this journey in life. Separation happens, and so why not learn to make all of your Byes GOOD?!

Learn to let go with gratitude for the person, place or experience knowing how it enhanced your living. Be grateful for what you did experience, rather than attaching to the loss of it. Afterall, what would your life been like if you had not had that time or that experience? Let go with love and gratitude. And more importantly, turn toward the good that awaits you! Enjoy all the moments that life has to offer...

Christmas Tree Wisdom

2011-12-22T20:34:00.000-08:00

I sit alone in the quiet of the night only a few feet from an enormous Christmas tree

Its flickering lights remind me of how our light within can flicker at times.

There are times in life when we are challenged to keep the light bright.

The tree is filled with various ornaments, each one distinct and meaningful, many quite special.

We can lose sight of our uniqueness when we compare ourselves to others.

Its gold ribbons and garland embrace the tree

A gentle reminder to go with the flow and trust the outcome.

The angel sits on the very top looking down

Offering a reminder that we are divinely cared for.

All is well.

I wish you and those you love the most magical Christmas!

Ellen

Healing Procrastination

2011-12-21T20:21:00.000-08:00

I must admit that I too have been a procrastinator in my life. You know, waiting to the last minute to get something done and then rushing to get it done just as the hand of the clock chimes, "Your time is up! Put down your pencils" Procrastination lends itself to feeling stressed, worried and rushed, also known as crazymaking.

How does it serve you to wait to the very last minute?

Are you trying to prove something to yourself or others? Perhaps when you were a kid in school you thought, I am so smart (or clever) that I can wait to the last minute and still get a good grade? In other words, "Look how good I am."

Or perhaps instead you feel unworthy of your time. Therefore, you waste it or give it up to others, only to then wonder why you do not have any time for yourself?

Regardless of the reason, why put yourself through this unnecesssary torture time and time again, when you can do things differently.

Learn to ADD rather than to subtract time. In other words, set your watch five minutes earlier and forget that you have done so. Add time to whatever time you allow to accomplishing a task. For example if you think it will take you 15 minutes to run to the post office, give yourself 20. Even better is to add in an extra 10 minutes. That can feel luxurious to the procrastinator. Imagine having an extra 10 minutes!

Learn how nice it is to arrive early. People who avoid arriving early often feel uncomfortable waiting. In order to avoid waiting, they push the limits on the time and sadly, arrive late and keep others waiting.

Learn to do things EARLY. If a paper is due on Wednesday, you hand it in on Tuesday. You complete it by Sunday and review it for the last time on Monday. Give yourself extra time, rather than just barely enough time.

To heal procrastination, one must become comfortable with being early. Try it on for size. You will worry less and relax more.

2011-12-20T20:24:00.000-08:00

Separate yourself

from the judgements

and criticisms of others

to recognize and honor

your genuine beauty within.

See yourself not as others perceive you,

but perfect in your own light.

Shine!

Thank you for your help!

2011-12-19T19:47:00.000-08:00

To all those whom I have expected help and yet never asked, I wish to say thank you. Thank you for helping me to see that the problem was not that you did not want to help, but simply that I did not feel worthy of help. I apologize for getting upset with you when you could not read my mind. I thought that you should know that I needed help. Afterall, I thought that you could see me overwhelmed and struggling? But then again, I never wanted you to know that I was struggling. I thought that it would punish you to do everything myself. Wrong. It punished me. Is it any wonder that everything became more complicated and therefore took longer than desired? I know now that there was never any ease because I could not allow it to be easy. Ease comes from allowing others to help. And so, I wish to say thank you for all the times, past and present, when you were there to help me. I not only accept your help, but I greatly appreciate it.

How do you prepare?

2011-12-18T20:24:00.000-08:00

With only a week until Christmas, I cannot help but to reflect on the concept of preparation. How do you prepare, not only for Christmas or special events, but for most things in your life? Do you allow yourself plenty of time in order to get things done? Or do you procrastinate and rush it all in the end? Stress can be easily avoided by allowing yourself enough, if not plenty of, time to get something done. It is not necessary to push to the finish line only to arrive exhausted.Slow and steady will win the race, provided they have allowed themselves sufficient time to get there.

Why not be ready EARLY and sit back and relax for awhile?

The Christmas Card or Letter

2011-12-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

Why do people send Christmas cards and letters? With so many other things to do, wouldn’t it be nice to take one task off of the list? After all, there are many people who do not even bother. If they can get away with it, then you probably can too. Maybe they won’t even notice. The truth is that sending a Christmas card is really more than buying and signing a card and getting it to the post office. Christmas cards and letters are about connection. It is a way in which you stay connected to those that you do not see on a regular basis. It is a way of saying that you have not forgotten them and that you value their presence in your life. I know that for me, I enjoy receiving such cards and letters. I especially enjoy when people send pictures of their families or letters that tell me what they have been doing in their lives. I value this connection. Some cards and letters make me chuckle, while others are heartfelt. All I know is I love to stop at my mailbox and see those envelopes there. I enjoy staying connected to people in my life, even if it is only through an annual card and well wishes. How do you stay connected with those you value?

Pop Quiz

2011-12-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

Do you have a smile?

Do others know you have a smile?

Do you laugh out loud?

Do others know the sound of your laugh?

Do you work hard?

Do others see you working hard?

Do you respect yourself?

Do others see you respecting yourself?

Be Happy!

2011-12-12T20:11:00.000-08:00

No one will ever make you happy. It is up to you to make yourself happy.

You have a right to be happy. Yet you often hold out for someone or something to make you happy. And then still, you are not happy.

It is time to assume responsibility for your happiness. No one but you has the key to your happiness. And so, periodically ask yourself the question, "What will make me happy right now?" You may be surprised to realize how simple it is to make yourself happy. Why continue to wait, when you can make yourself happy now.

Wherever you are, be happy.

Wherever you go, be happy.

Whoever you are with, be happy.

In other words, Be Happy!

Tips for a Merrier Christmas

2011-12-11T19:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas is fast approaching. Although this time of year is most noted for being happy and joyful, there are some people who lose sight of the beauty and magic of this special time of year. Sadly Christmas can feel like a burden if your focus is on the buying, the baking, the wrapping and the decorating.Christmas can feel overwhelming when you think about all that needs to get done in only a few short weeks. Here are a few tips for making Christmas merrier:

1. Take time for yourself
2. Remember to choose fun things to do.
3. Make a list of what you need to do and cross items off as you accomplish them.
4. Minimize what you have to do (obligations), so that you have more time to do what you want to do.
5. Play Christmas music in your car and in your home.
6. Wrap a few presents each day.
7. Take a day off of work to go Christmas shopping or to wrap presents.
8. Watch at least one Christmas classic.
9. Keep in mind that gifts are meant to be thoughtful, not expensive. Do not fuss over what to get people. Make it easy.
10. Sit in the dark room with the Christmas tree lights on and remind yourself how very blessed you are.

Make Life Fun!

2011-12-08T20:35:00.000-08:00

In order to live your life joyfully,

You must stop making life so serious

and indulge in some fun!

What do you do for fun?

What could you do to make life fun?

Let go of the Outcome

2011-12-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

When you are overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next…

Stay true to yourself

and

Let go of the outcome.

Everything happens in the way that it is supposed to happen.

The Reasons for Conflict

2011-12-06T20:54:00.000-08:00

What is the point of conflict?

· To be heard

· To be understood

· To gain power

· To prove our worth

· To sabotage ourselves

· To sabotage our relationships

· To get attention

· To gain sympathy

· To push others away

· To prove to ourselves that we are no good

· To prove to others that we are not good

· To “makeup” (improve connection/intimacy)

· To stand up for ourselves

· To stand up for others

· To be heard again

· To be understood again

Go into each day...

2011-12-05T19:58:00.000-08:00

Go into each day with love in your heart and peace in your mind.

All is well and will continue to be well.

When Strangers become Friends

2011-12-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

The day began like most any other weekend day. Yet so much came to unfold as the day came to a close. There was magic in the air. Jamie and I decided to spontaneously go and listen to a friend who was playing guitar at an unfamiliar restaurant in the smallest of towns. We had invited another friend to join us, but she was going to be delayed, if she was going to be able to make it at all. From the moment we walked in, we absorbed the beauty of this amazing place. We were graciously greeted by the owner who proceeded to seat us at a small table for two. I had told the owner that we were brought to his elegant restaurant to see a friend play guitar for them. The owner shared that he was also aware that today was the musician’s birthday. Although it was dark outside, from our table you could see a waterwheel through the window of the restaurant. Jamie and I ordered our dinner and continued to take in the beauty of our surroundings, which one would not have believed existed from outside the front door. After a few minutes, the owner came over to our table and asked if we wanted to move so as to sit with our friends, the musician and his wife. We agreed and were seated in an even more beautiful area of the restaurant. And the magic continued to unfold.

The musician and his wife arrived, surprised to see us and greeting us ever so kindly as if we were old friends who had not seen each other in ten years. Together we talked, we shared and we experienced. As time passed we had various people visit our table. Some were old friends of the musical couple; two others were previous students of the musician. The owner and his wife would come and share various stories. The wife of the owner had known the wife of the musician for a long time. Each visitor arrived with a story and a connection to one or more of the four of us. At one time there were four women, including Jamie and I, who shared a connection through attending SUNY Cortland. Another person eventually shared that she had attended Marywood College for her social work degree where I had also attended. There were connections through colleges, churches, towns and organizations. The synchronicity of it all left us in awe of the entire experience. Not only had we all helped each other in some way of advice or sharing, each person who came to that table was touched in a profound way by one another’s presence. It was truly amazing! I went to dinner with Jamie, and left with a connection to Ithaca College for Kelci, a guitar teacher for Marissa, information regarding Hope Lake Lodge, new friends who own an antique shop, and an understanding of true hospitality by people who were strangers and are now friends.

I believe tonight Jamie and I had our own version of It’s a Wonderful Life!

Thank you Clarence!

Beginning a Creative Project

2011-12-01T19:23:00.000-08:00

It all begins with a blank page, or a blank canvas. With a spark of inspiration, once you put pen to paper or paintbrush to canvas, the hardest part is done. Finding a place to begin is often the greatest challenge of a creative project. It can delay a person for weeks, months, or even years just trying to figure out where to start. What is it that you are yearning to create? You can begin today by simply honoring the process of beginning. It is not a place of already knowing what you will create, or what it will look like in the end. It is simply permitting paper and pen, or paint and canvas to join forces in the channeling of creative expression. And so it begins. ..

The presence of Spirit

2011-11-30T16:24:00.000-08:00

What was that? Why did that happen? Strange things do indeed happen. A light flickers on and off. A friend stops in to see you at work unannounced. The hood of your car pops up as you are driving and blocks your view. Are these strange happenings coincidental? Perhaps they could happen to anyone at any given time. But why to you? And why at the moment when it did? Is it the presence of Spirit? Is Someone trying to tell you something that would be beneficial to know? As you become more consciously aware, you open up to a greater knowing that recognizes that things are not random. Everything happens for a reason, because you were never meant to walk this journey of life alone. Sure, sometimes you feel as if you are all alone, and struggling. But in truth you are not. You are just unaware of the guidance that comes through daily” strange” experiences. Open up to greater questions, such as “What does that mean?” and “What is the Universe/God/Angels trying to tell me?” Strange things do indeed happen. Listen for its greater meaning. Spirit is talking to you.

The Wisdom within a Latte

2011-11-29T15:19:00.000-08:00

Some may think that the occasional latte is merely just a latte. I would disagree. There is a great deal of wisdom that comes from the latte if only you take a sip...

Yes! You are worthy

It is okay to take time for yourself

Some like it hot, while others like it cold.

Some prefer just enough, while others prefer more than enough.

Relax

Indulge

Socialize

Create a tradition.

Celebrate

Breathe

Enjoy

Indeed, there is a great deal of wisdom in that latte. In fact, the wisdom may also be found in a cappuccino, an espresso or a cup of tea. Ahhh… Breathe. Enjoy!

Thanks A Latte! :)

Parenting

2011-11-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

Parenting is by far one of the most difficult jobs we will ever undertake. You dream about having a child or children for much of your young life. You eagerly wait with anticipation for the day that they arrive, and you truly feel that it is the happiest day of your life. Yet upon their arrival, there is no handbook that will help you to navigate the winding course of parenting. There are children who are easy to parent, as they desire guidance and respect your authority. And then there are those children who dislike being parented and refuse to be told what to do. These are the children who, from a young age say "You are not the boss of me," or "You cannot tell me what to do." Now where is that handbook? If only you could turn to a specific page for advice on how to respond to such statements. How would others, with more experience, handle this situation? The truth is that we as parents, are just as unique as each of our children. We would all respond differently. There is no right answer. On parent may feel angry and yell back, while another may walk away ignoring the comments. Still others may defend or justify. Regardless of your own parenting style, one thing remains true. You love your children each one in a way that reflects their individuality. Therefore, as parents it becomes necessary to be firm when needed, but to be loving always. Be a rolemodel of self-respect and loving kindness. You may never be a perfect parent, but you can certainly be a loving and forgiving parent. Be patient. Don't give up on them. Remind your children that you will always love them.

Tick, Tock.

2011-11-27T19:20:00.000-08:00

Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

The hands on the clock move quickly. There is nothing like the end of November to remind us that time moves quickly. Another year is coming to a close. What memories did you create? How have you demonstrated your love to others? How have you demonstrated your love for yourself? Where are you taking your life? Are you continuing to develop goals and move your life in the direction of such goals? If not, where are you stuck? Recognize that time will not wait for you, while you continue to put things off for a later date. You are worthy of the life that you truly desire. Tick, Tock.

Excitement in Anticipation

2011-11-23T15:34:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about you, but I tend to get excited in anticipation of something wonderful happening. It may not surprise you then to know that my favorite day of the year is Christmas Eve day. I love the time in preparation for the big event. I love knowing that something amazing is going to happen. You meet the day with excitement and anticipation. If only every day, we could feel that way. I am writing this blog on the eve of Thanksgiving Day. I am pleased to say that this year does not hold any grandiose plans, and yet I feel excited. I am eager to experience the joy of a day off with family and good food. This year, I am anticipating staying in my slippers, watching the parade with my girls and helping with the cooking of a delicious dinner. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget my favorite Chocolate Cream pie for dessert! It is so exciting! A part of living life joyfully is being able to enjoy the moments not only in celebration, but also the moments in preparing for the celebration. Regardless of how you spend the next 24 hours, remember that you are making memories.

Be mindful to

Speak lovingly and thoughtfully to others,

To relax,

To express gratitude,

To laugh,

And to do your part to make it enjoyable and memorable!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Response-ability

2011-11-22T20:22:00.000-08:00

Too often we experience circumstances or events in our lives that cause us to assume the burdens and responsibilities of others. We take on the responsibility for what happens to others as if the welfare of others depends solely on us. We can spend a great deal of emotional energy trying to either make something happen for another or to prevent something from happening to another. We ignore the fact that others are responsible for themselves. The actual definition of responsibility actually has nothing to do with being responsible for another person. At its root form, responsibility is merely the ability to respond to a situation. We lose sight of how to appropriately handle a situation with love when we feel responsible for the other person or a particular outcome. In fact, we expect a certain outcome and when it does not happen, we feel that we have failed. Learn how to offer support to those you love and care for, rather than to assume responsibility for them and what happens to them. For example, if someone chooses to live chaotically, it does not mean that it is your responsibility to rescue them from the chaos that they create. Instead, learn to be a role model of someone who simply responds to a situation with care, confidence and integrity.

I respond with love

You are worthy

2011-11-21T19:30:00.000-08:00

You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of joy.

You are worthy of having it all.

Why do you shortchange yourself?

Evidence of Change

2011-11-20T19:49:00.000-08:00

For years, I have told people that I choose to be an active member of my Catholic church in hopes to bring positive changes in an organization that needs a great deal of help. Years ago,I had a dear friend, who is now deceased, say that she could not say aloud, nor agree to, the prayer, "Lord I am not worthy to receive you..." I agreed that the language is harsh and punitive. And so, today my girls and I served on the altar amazed to hear the changes that are to come as of next week with the wording, not only of that prayer, but several other prayers as well. It seems as if the Catholic Church is resigning much of their negative language and finally embracing some much needed change. Marissa held the book that priests have used for many years (if not centuries) to offer prayers during Mass and other Catholic celebrations, in order for Father Leo to "decommission" the Book. Father Leo closed the Book for the final time and handed to me as the lector to carry in procession out of the church. It was truly an honor to be a part of what I consider miraculous! The Catholic Church is embracing positive changes. Alleluia!

For further information, visit...
http://www.thebatt.com/catholic-mass-changing-translations-1.2687755?cache=03D163D03D163Dp%3A%2Fhe3D03Dn6%2FFreporti3D19.1114g1ssed-1.1176%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%83%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%83%C3%82%C2%82%C3%83%C2%82%C3%82%C2%9ApatpxtPage%3D2.1188%3Fcache%3D03D163D03D163Dp%3A%2Fhe3D03Dn63Frepo%3Fcache%3Fcache%3D03D163D03D163%3FparentPage%3D2.1244%3Fcache%3D03ch63Da3D163Dines-mangan-folling-porti3D19o546788

Putting the Happy in your Holiday!

2011-11-17T20:34:00.000-08:00

The Holidays are coming. A week from today is Thanksgiving. And although it is meant to be a joyful occasion, for many people, it can sadly feel like a dreaded obligation. After all, the world is full of insecure and wounded individuals who just so happen to show up at your parents’ house on the holidays for dinner. Yikes! To make this holiday season even happier, the following are some helpful hints for surviving the not-so-Brady Bunch holiday gatherings

1. Remember that you are not responsible for the insecurities of others, even if they are your family.

2. Know that it is your responsibility to insure that you have a Happy Holiday.

3. Ask yourself, “What would make my holiday happy?” In doing so, you are more likely to choose the people, places and experiences that will offer a more joyful experience.

4. Stand up for yourself if someone criticizes or mistreats you. Do not react defensively. Simply state, “Please do not criticize me” or, ask a clarifying question such as “What do you mean by that?” At the very least, you will give them something to think about.

5. Set yourself up for success. If your family is severely dysfunctional or chaotic, set limits with regard to the time you spend with them. Have dinner at home and visit for dessert.

6. Avoid those who are strongly opinionated (trying to prove how smart they are), negative (fearful), or gossipy/judgmental (putting others down to feel better about themselves).

7. Keep in mind that families are supposed to be loving and supportive. Be a catalyst of change by role-modeling appropriate responses, by praising rather than condemning and by complimenting rather than criticizing. You will not only make it a happier experience for yourself, but for others as well.

8. Let go of expectations. They have not changed, but hopefully you have, and continue to grow in loving and appreciating yourself as a person.

9. Make your holidays, Happy Holidays! Enjoy the experience for what it is and share the love in your heart!

What is abundance?

2011-11-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

Although abundance is typically associated with wealth, in truth, abundance is much more than wealth. It encompasses all that is good in life. It is a mindset that recognizes gratitude for all that you already have and for that which already exists. On a spiritual level, it recognizes how blessed you are in your living. Abundance can certainly mean having a nice home or vehicle, but it also means having good health and time with family and friends. Abundance is having what you truly need, which includes love and a sense of value and purpose as a person. Life is abundant, as easily recognized in nature. There is not just one tree, but many trees. There is not one blade of grass, but many. Abundance exists all around us. We simply need to recognize it and tap into its energy.

Life is always abundant!

You are not who you think you are

2011-11-15T20:25:00.000-08:00

Although you came into this world pure in your thoughts of who you are, you quickly learned to identify yourself through the eyes of others. As a small child, those other eyes may have been your parents. As you grew, those eyes became those of your siblings and other children. As you grew older, so did your innermost longing to be loved and accepted by others. In the effort to gain this acceptance, you also learned how to “be” in order for others to approve of you. It is similar to the childhood game of telephone. The initial message is distorted so many times that it is no longer recognizable as the message it once was. It is time for you to give up the fears and insecurities that were projected through the eyes of others, and to allow yourself the freedom to be who you really are. In other words, you are not the failure or disappointment that you were led to believe through the eyes of others. You are smart. You are capable. You are talented. You are good in math. You can read. You write well. You have a big heart. You are beautiful. You are worth it. You can do it!

You are not who you think you are…you are amazing!

Do you know the difference?

2011-11-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

There is a difference between holding on and letting go.

There is a difference between letting go and giving up.

There is a difference between giving up and holding on.

The difference lies in recognizing that everyone must walk their own journey.

Use your voice

2011-11-10T17:46:00.000-08:00

Too often people learn to use behaviors, rather than their voice, to communicate. They get angry or upset and sleep in the other room. They walk out the door. They slam down a dish. People who use behaviors to communicate are often misunderstood. Sure, you can ascertain that someone is upset or angry by observing their behavior. However, you may choose to acknowledge or ignore. Most will ignore behaviors as they are deemed immature. A toddler communicates with behaviors as they have yet to gain the language skills to adequately express themselves verbally. Direct communication is healthy communication. Learn to use your voice. Express what you feel. Say what you mean. Compliment rather than criticize or condemn. Otherwise, I cannot hear you.

Breakthrough!

2011-11-09T19:07:00.000-08:00

Finally, a breakthrough! It has been years of trying to figure out what to write for my subsequent book. I have been stalled at the crossroads, playing various ideas over and over again. Yet none of these ideas could fuel the passion that I know is necessary in writing for publication. If you are going to invest many months, if not years, into writing a book, it needs to be a book that you feel passionate about. Although I have had many good ideas and even some well-meaning starts, nothing has held my passion until tonight. I am grateful for a breakthrough! I began to write as I do each day, but this time something happened as I was writing. The fire within me ignited and I was guided on how to fit the things I want to write about into a logical format. Tonight it all came together. And so, if there is something that you too have been feeling stuck with, I wish you a similar breakthrough. As you reach various crossroads, you must take either a right or a left. You can stand at that crossroads for a long time waiting and wondering what to do. In truth, it does not matter which direction you choose, it matters that you keep moving forward knowing that it will eventually come together. Break Through!

"I am done!"

2011-11-08T19:40:00.000-08:00

You may or may not have heard yourself use this phrase at one time or another in frustration. Sadly, this phrase is often thought or stated when one reaches their breaking point. You have had enough. You can’t take anymore. You give up. These feelings can also surface in relationship to others. There are people that, due to their feelings of hurt, will actually write another person off. They will end the friendship or any further contact because they are angry and hurt. It is important to realize however that there is a difference between giving up (surrender) and letting go. Giving up is accompanied by a feeling of powerlessness. It carries a negative connotation that feeds anger and frustration. Letting go, on the other hand, means that you release responsibility for the struggle or hardship of others. Learn to let go, rather than to give up.

Take Action Now

2011-11-06T18:16:00.000-08:00

If you have not already noticed, time moves forward. As you get older, time passes quickly. Hence why you may have a list of things you would like to do, but have yet to do. You are the designer of your life. You make decisions, whether consciously (with awareness) or unconsciously (without awareness) that affect your life and your living. Is what you are doing aligned with the life your desire? If not, why not? Are you selling yourself short? In other words, are you settling for the life you lead, while dreaming about the life you desire? What do you currently love in your life? Keep those things and have the courage necessary to drop or transform the rest. Take action now to live the life you desire.

The life I desire:

Yes you can!

2011-11-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

Do you ever struggle with feelings of doubt or uncertainty? Do you doubt your abilities? Is there a voice in your head that challenges you at times by telling you, “You can’t do that, You don’t know how, or You have never done that before? Perhaps, that voice tells you instead, “Don’t do that. You will screw it up,” This is often the voice of your ego trying to sabotage your efforts at moving forward. As children, you longed for your parents to notice your abilities, to praise your efforts, to celebrate your accomplishments. “Look what I can do!” As an adult however, you may sit idly on the sidelines waiting for someone to notice how capable you are. In truth, it may not happen. As adults it is understood that you can take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Therefore, it is expected that you are capable of validating your own needs and feelings. Yet, too often people resist stepping into that role. They continue to wait for others to notice and to say or do something that validates them. True validation comes from within. It is the knowledge that you are capable. You recognize that although you may not do something perfectly, you are able to do it well. You can accept yourself as a capable person. It is no longer necessary for others to see that which you already know. You are capable. Therefore, the voice in your head tells you, “Yes, you can!”

Harvest the Good!

2011-11-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

It is fall in the Northeast. The trees continue to grace us with their spectacular colors. You cannot help but to notice them as you drive along the roads and highways. People come from various distances to cast their eyes on such remarkable beauty. The fall foliage reminds us that change is necessary. It is also the season associated with the harvest. What do you wish to harvest in your living? There is much in life that is good. Why not harvest the good? Turn your focus to that which is good in your life. Focus on what is going right, rather than what has gone wrong. In doing so, you are likely to focus on the present rather than on the past. Today I harvest the good. I recognize the blessings of love, wisdom, and health. I see only the good.

Evolve

2011-11-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

Life is an evolutionary process. We begin this lifetime as a small baby and with time, we grow and change and evolve into something larger, something greater. And so it is true for all levels of your being. You are evolving into a greater person, physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Be patient with your evolution. It does take time. Enjoy the experience of knowing and understanding your authentic self. It is this authentic self that will move you to your divine purpose. As you evolve into your authentic self, your gift to humanity as a whole will also be that much greater. You are a physical being evolving into a greater human being that has a special gift to enhance humanity.

I patiently evolve into my authentic being.

Togetherness

2011-10-31T19:52:00.000-07:00

Do you often feel like you have to do things alone? Perhaps you were raised in a family where you were taught that you cannot count on anyone but yourself. In this way, you believe that it is necessary to forgo the hope that another person will help you with a needed task. You learn to do it yourself. In this way, you also establish a pattern in which, not only will you do it yourself, you will also forget to even ask for help. You will tell yourself, "why should I ask, no one helps me anyway"Although this is a common belief, the truth is that you desire to have the company or assistance of another. Although, you cannot count on another, you secretly hope that another will join you. There is something to be said for the support of togetherness. It is the idea that we are not alone, and in fact "are in this together." Today I had the opportunity to walk the streets of Newfield with a number of families, sharing laughter and keeping excited children safe. There is a great deal of love and support in togetherness.

Life is Precious!

2011-10-30T20:35:00.000-07:00

Life is indeed precious. We cannot predict how long we will walk this journey called life. Life can be taken from us or our loved ones with little or no warning. Therefore it remains necessary to:

1)Live your life to the fullest. Do not put things off until tomorrow. Tomorrow may or may not come.

2) Let others know how you feel. Use the words “I love you, “ generously especially to those closest to you.

3) Make the effort to attend family gatherings to demonstrate that family means something to you.

4) Take life a little less seriously. Drop the worry and live in today.

5) Appreciate life and all the blessings that you have been given.

In loving memory of my dear cousin, Doreen, who always had a good story to tell us. May all our loved ones come to greet you and bring you home.

Stop worrying about money

2011-10-29T19:55:00.000-07:00

In challenging economic times, it is common to worry about money. Worry is nothing more than normalized fear. No one wants to admit to feeling fear, yet they will often say that they worry. When you worry about money,you are likely to feel afraid that there is not enough. Keep in mind that the fear of not having enough money rarely creates affluence. On the contrary, it brings your focus to not enough. Since what you focus on increases, you increase the likelihood of not having enough money in your life. Worry is a waste of time. It only produces more worry. In addition, I have sadly witnessed people becoming seriously ill as a result of being worried about money. Spare yourself the misery by recognizing that people survive financial issues. It may take some time to turn it around, but you will get beyond whatever financial issues you are facing. It is not beneficial to worry. Worry only fills the void when you are unsure of what else to do. If you need to do something, choose to create a plan for improving your finances. Revise your budget. Get a second job. Sell the treadmill that you no longer use. But do not worry. Know instead, that “This too shall pass.” You will indeed survive. Let go of fear and worry and embrace trust.

I always have enough.

Are you stuck?

2011-10-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

Are there times in your life when you feel stuck? Stuck is sadly a familiar feeling. It is the inability, or more accurately, the unwillingness to move forward. In truth, you may feel scared to move forward. As human beings, we prefer the familiar to the unknown. Even when what is familiar is not helpful, we will cling to it in an effort to avoid the unknown.

What are you currently clinging to, that allows you to feel stuck?

What do you need to become unstuck?

Decisions, Decisions

2011-10-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

Decision, Decisions. Do you have difficulty making decisions? Do you avoid making decisions? When confronted with a decision to make, do you simply state, “I don’t know.” Even more importantly do you forfeit the right to make a decision and allow others to decide for you? People who have difficulty making decisions often lack trust. They do not trust themselves to make a good decision. They are afraid of making a mistake. In an effort to avoid making mistakes, they avoid making decisions. They falsely believe that if others make a decision for them, then they will not be responsible for the outcome. In other words, instead of trust, the person feels afraid. They are afraid of making a mistake, affecting others, and/or causing an undesirable outcome. If you understand that nothing happens by accident you can begin to let go of the fear of making a mistake. You can instead trust that all is exactly right. Learn to decide b what you feel rather than what you think. Allow your heart to guide you in your decisions. What does our heart decide?

Just a thought to ponder...

2011-10-24T19:36:00.000-07:00

Everyone has garbage to take out,

Laundry to do,

Dishes to wash.

But only some, will do it with a smile.

Pleasure

2011-10-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

Pleasure is becoming a lost commodity in our hectic society. There is too much to do, and little time to do what you want to do. Take time today for some pleasure in your life. It is too easy to be consumed with the to-do lists and schedules that never end. Time is an illusion. There is always 24 hours in a day. If you want more time, you must make that time. Reserve a lunch with a friend. Take a walk with the dog this evening. Listen to music you have not heard in a long time. Read a good book. Find some pleasure and make it happen today. You will be glad that you did. It is time to laugh out loud and celebrate living. Put time for pleasure on your to-do list.

I embrace and celebrate living.

Contentment

2011-10-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

We live in a society in which contentment is sought, but rarely achieved. Most people look for more in the hope of filling an empty place within their souls. They look to have a bigger house or a nicer vehicle. They shop for more material possessions as what they have is no longer good enough. It is an endless battle to feel content and satisfied in one’s living. If you look within, it is there that you will find true contentment. It is a feeling that all is right with the world. No matter what happens, you know all is well. You don’t need more, because what you have is sufficient. Contentment is the ability to accept things for what they are. There is no need to change or complain. It is the belief that things happen for a reason. You can trust the outcome. To develop contentment, you need to practice feeling satisfied. Notice when you feel satisfied. Practice using the word satisfied in statements such as, “I am satisfied”, or “That satisfies me.” It is possible to feel content and satisfied. Make it a part of your daily experience.

Letting Go with Ease

2011-10-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

As humans, we have a tendency to want to hold on. We feel threatened by even the idea of letting go, no less the reality. Throughout life, we must let go of people, places, experiences and material possessions. Many things will simply pass through our fingers. Yet we want to hold onto them. We fear change and therefore cling to the familiar. In the season of autumn in the Northeast we appreciate the beauty of change. As the leaves change color, we are reminded that all things change, whether for a season or for a lifetime. As the leaves fall, we are reminded of the necessity of letting go. Unlike humans, you will never hear a leaf scream as it is falling from the tree? The falling leaves are simply a reminder that you can let go with ease, rather than with fear. Trust that all is well. It is only change. Something new is forming.

Gratitude

2011-10-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for every day, but today seemed to hold special meaning. I had the honor of traveling alone with my mother to Pennsylvania to meet my sister and niece for the day. It was the first leg of my Mom’s journey back to Tampa, Florida. It was a magnificent drive in which we were enveloped by the beautiful fall foliage in the Northeast. My Mom and I stopped at a local farmers market decorated for Halloween and picked up the most delicious apples. To see my mother eat an apple in the car seemed like a miracle. Fruit and vegetables are a rarity in her diet. We continued the drive during which I asked my mother questions related to her child-rearing years and her personal childhood. We had such an enjoyable few hours in the car today reminiscing about the happy times in her life. I could not help but to feel grateful for this precious time together. At one point, she looked over at me and said that she was glad to have the time together. My heart is forever touched by this day. May you experience the gratitude that comes with spending quality time with someone you love.

Recognizing your Growth Potential

2011-10-18T18:06:00.000-07:00

Have you ever stopped to think about your growth potential? How much have you already grown in your living? More importantly, how much more can you grow. People are funny. They believe that they can only grow so much. On a physical plane, once you have reached your absolute height and shoe size, it does not tend to vary. Weight, on the other, can continue to fluctuate beyond a certain age or number. Rarely do we give much thought to our emotional and spiritual well-being. Many people reach a particular awareness about themselves and stagnate. They want others to accept them for who they are. I am not going to change. This is how I have always been. These are merely excuses in the stagnation of ones growth. The truth is that we all come into this life with the understanding that we are here to learn. There are life lessons to be understood, and life as we know it on a physical plane is the classroom. We are here to learn about ourselves, our emotions, our relationships, our life purpose and so much more.

A Personal growth weekend can feel like a dream come true. Join us for Cultivating Healthy Relationships, November 4-6 at White Eagle Conference Center. You can come as an individual or as a couple. You will be amazed at how much you can grow!

www.personalgrowthweekends.com

Unplugged...

2011-10-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the opportunity to unplug from all that tends to demand my attention in a day. Hence, why there were no posts. I chose to let go of the demands of both the cell phone and the computer, and enjoyed it. We now live in a society that makes it virtually (no pun intended) impossible to unplug. Sure, maybe on occasion the cell phone battery dies and creates an unexpected opportunity to be without technological contact. For the most part, however, people have become increasingly tied to their cell phones and are, therefore, on alert all of the time. Do we really want to be needed that much? There is little if any separation. It is as if we are trained to watch our phones for a blinking light. We thought wireless would make things easier when in fact, they make things constant. You hear a little ping and you immediately pick up your phone to look at the text, the email or the Facebook notification. Give yourself a break sometimes so as to maintain your personal well-being. Learn to unplug….even for just a while. You will not miss anything; you will instead find a sense of peaceful solitude.

Healing your Hurt

2011-10-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hurt is a powerful emotion. As humans, we feel hurt, just as we feel many other emotions. Hurt, however, is an emotion that people are reluctant to acknowledge and to heal. In fact, hurt is rarely expressed in a healthy way. Most often, the hurt person will react by withdrawing from the other person, or use the silent treatment in an effort to punish the person that hurt his/her feelings. In doing so, they hold onto the hurt, rather than to heal the hurt. Hurt often arises from misunderstanding, or more accurately misperceptions. Sadly, marriages that end in divorce are the result of unhealed hurt. Hurt can carry over from previous relationships and sabotage even the healthiest of relationships. So, how do you heal hurt? It is easy. Hurt needs to be 1) acknowledged and 2) expressed. To heal hurt, you must use the word “hurt”. “I feel hurt” is both an acknowledgement and an expression of the hurt. As a parent of a toddler might say, “Use your words” instead of your behaviors. After all, no one understands your withdrawal, or your temper tantrum. Say what you feel. In doing so, you will not only express your feeling, you will also heal your hurt. Hurt is a transitory emotion that is meant to be felt and set aside. It is damaging to you and your relationships when you hold onto hurt. Acknowledge hurt and then, let it go.

In the midst of it all

2011-10-12T15:35:00.000-07:00

In the midst of chaos, I find peace.

In the midst of noise, I find silence.

In the midst of confusion, I find clarity.

In the midst of clutter, I find order.

In the midst of pain, I find strength.

In the midst of fear, I find trust.

In the midst of sadness, I find gratitude.

In the midst of anxiety, I find centeredness.

In the midst of a crowd, I find myself.

In the midst of life, I find love.

Live in the Now

2011-10-11T19:50:00.000-07:00

The only time that you have is now. You cannot change the past and you cannot predict the future. To live in the now, is to experience the present. After all, to live in the past brings sadness. To live in the future brings anxiety. To live in the now brings peace. It is in the now that you have the greatest potential for achieving extraordinary things. Place your energy in today, into this moment of time. In doing so, you will not have any regrets, as you will not have to grieve the moment once it is passed. You lived it consciously. You enjoyed it. You made the most of it. You relished in the time, the person or the experience. As it passes, you move into the next moment with gratitude and excitement. Live now.

I choose to live in the now.

It is time to Resign!

2011-10-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

It is time to resign, but not from the job that puts food on the table. It is time to resign from being the CEO (aka caretaker) of your household. If you are primarily responsible for making things happen, including laundry, groceries, and managing all that is involved in running a home, you are eligible for this offer. You have sufficiently met your responsibilities. this position is often held by a person who needs to be needed. In addition, you may have been programmed to neglect your own needs, and therefore, unconsciously look to fill the needs of others. You mistakenly believe that the needs of others matter more than your needs. In truth, you feel unworthy of having needs. It is then automatic to put the needs of others before your own needs. In time though, you will feel resentful that others needs get met, while your needs are still neglected. Who is taking care of your needs? Burdens are responsibilities that belong to others. In other words, you assume the responsibility of others, while neglecting responsibility for yourself.

Today, I give you permission to surrender your burdens, whether emotional, financial or physical, to others. In the very least, remind others that they are responsible for themselves and their well-being. In doing so, you will have the time and energy to meet your needs. You will feel so much happier!

My needs matter, too!

Life Moves Forward

2011-10-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

Life moves with a flow. Rivers run and waterfalls fall with a gravitational pull. This kind of flow is forceful by nature, and does not require additional effort. And so it is with life. Life flows. Then why do you choose to struggle? It is in your resistance that you struggle. You forget that there is a greater force at work within your life. You resist the flow and try to swim upstream. That is of course, more challenging than going with the flow. Stop resisting and start trusting in the flow and process of life. Trust in life and its natural movement forward.

Life moves forward. Move forward.

Harmony

2011-10-07T18:39:00.000-07:00

The experience of harmony is one in which all things seem right. There is peace around you, because there is peace emanating from within you. You are at peace. You live in harmony with all things around you. To live harmoniously, one must commit to peaceful living. There is ease in your experiencing of life. Where there is peace and ease, there is always harmony.

Harmony abides within me and around me. I am at peace.

"Help. We have a communication problem!"

2011-10-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

Couples often look for help with communication with one another. Often one partner will describe feeling frustrated with the other whom they perceive as unable or unwilling to communicate. They blame their partner for not telling them the truth, for withholding information, for saying nothing. They feel angry, deceived, or threatened by the silence. These are certainly feelings that exist on the surface with little to no understanding of what lies deeper, more dormant. There are reasons that a person cannot communicate. Some of the most common reasons are that the person is afraid to speak. They have learned in their life that it is not emotionally safe to speak their truth. They are afraid that their words will be met with criticism or shame. This silent person may feel afraid of anger, conflict, saying the wrong thing, or offending another. Therefore, they learn to say nothing. They may even appear as if frozen in fear, unable to say a word. They have been silenced. How does the partner interpret this emotional shut down? Personally; they take it to mean something about themselves. It means “he/she doesn’t like me, he/she is withholding something from me, or he/she is not telling me the truth. The truth is that when we do not know something that we want to know, we make things up. In other words, if there is an empty space, we fill it up. A lack of communication is easily healed with emotional safety. It is safe to say what you think and feel. Create environment in which those you love feel emotionally safe to communicate. Everyone will benefit.

Managing Expectations

2011-10-05T17:04:00.000-07:00

As humans, we hold expectations. Whether they are expectations for ourselves or for others, we have expectations. We expect our spouses to help around the house or our colleague to follow through on a project. We expect our children to do well in school and our dog to protect our home. Expectations, what are they and how do they serve us? Expectations are ways in which we can possibly grow to be better human beings. Therefore, expectations are not meant to limit us or anyone else, but to raise us to a new and better standard of living. That is, we need to hold the bar higher so as to always be striving to be better, stronger, more aware, and more centered. Expectations are standards. Thus, we expect others to live up to our standards. In truth, we do not have any business holding anyone to our standards. We can only hold ourselves to our standards. Standards are typically bestowed upon us by our parents who received them from their parents. These standards are then translated into expectations. Your parents expect you to live up to (if not to go beyond) their standard, whether you are aware of them or not. Expectations may be spoken but are more likely to be unspoken. Tell the truth, work hard, save your money, be kind to others. Often people perceive expectations as negative in that they feel pressured to do what is expected of them. They feel afraid of failing or of disappointing another. Therefore, they resist honoring a standard for themselves. They do not see the gift of accountability. For today, expect something great of yourself.

Peace be with you

2011-10-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

Do you long for some peace and calm? Is your life busy and hectic? Perhaps you have children who need to be at various events that require a ride, a cheerleading parent, or at the very least, a baked good. It can feel overwhelming to try to juggle the various schedules and needs of yourself and your loved ones. Take a deep breath. No matter where you are, you can always take a breath. Breathe in, breathe out. Surrender. It can all wait a minute while you collect yourself. Let go. Honor the silence within. It is in the silence that you will find peace. It is a letting go, an exhale. Stop what you are doing, if only for a moment. Stop the flurry of thoughts that keep you from enjoying the silence. Breathe peace. Breathe calm. It only takes a few minutes to claim your peace and feel centered. Breathe peace. May peace always be with you.

Ahh… all is well.

Self Care

2011-10-03T21:11:00.000-07:00

Self-care is the consistent way in which you take care of yourself. Whether you choose a weekend getaway, a warm bath, or a nap on a Sunday afternoon, it is important to take the necessary time to care for yourself. If you are a caregiver, a person who is caring for a child(ren) or a parent, it is vital that you, too, receive love and care. Too often, people become ill as a result of neglecting themselves physically or emotionally. For example, women who hold resentment increase their likelihood of breast cancer. Recently, I have observed people coming down with colds, which Louise Hay (author of Heal your Body) identifies as "too much going on at once." Furthermore, coughing is "barking at the world." Self-care is a remedy for all potential illnesses. It cannot be purchased at any pharmacy. It is simply the ability to nurture oneself. When you nurture yourself, you are less likely to fall victim to illness or injury. After all your needs are being met. You can learn more about your personal mind body connection, by attending the Healing your Mind, Body Spirit Weekend. As a cancer survivor, I am grateful to recognize the power of the mind in the healing of the body. Just for this week, find ways to nurture yourself.

Support in Life

2011-10-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to feel supported? My daughter, Kelci, was scheduled to take her SAT exam yesterday. I awoke at 6am to insure that she had sufficient time to get ready and arrive on time. I packed her snacks, sharpened her pencils, and made her a good breakfast. In doing all this, I recognized that I was providing support. How much easier our life is when we have the support that we need. Whether support comes in the form of emotional, physical or financial, humans need support. We are not meant to move through life doing it by ourselves. Support diminishes struggle. Allow others to support you. Ask for help. Appreciate those who support you. Recognize how you are supported.

Affirmation: I am supported.

Courage

2011-09-30T19:55:00.000-07:00

Do you have the necessary courage to look within? As humans, we would prefer to change anything and everything on the outside, while completely avoiding the feelings on the inside. We attribute feelings of anxiety, depression and physical symptoms to external factors, such as family history or a change in seasons. We take medication to alleviate the pain and discomfort of the symptoms, without addressing the cause. It takes courage to look inside and acknowledge feelings of hurt, disappointment, fear, or grief. These are the typical emotions that underlie depression and anxiety. Sadly, some people believe that they will always have to suffer from the long term effects of unexpressed and squelched emotions. It is not true. These emotions can be healed if you have the courage to go beyond the wall of suffering and reach understanding. Often people who suffer from depression and anxiety are eager to heal the symptoms, but lack the knowledge to do so. When I offer the solution to attend one of the many personal growth weekends, I am met with a surprising and perhaps fearful look. Again, people would prefer to change their circumstances, then to go away for a powerful weekend of transformation. Some people are afraid of the actual work, while others are afraid of the group experience. They are afraid of exposure, of others knowing their struggles. These are the struggles they try to keep concealed. The weekends of healing are not as scary as one may think. It is actually the most rewarding experience and opens you up to greater joy and abundance. Today, I wish for you courage to move beyond your struggle and heal your emotions.

The Need for Order

2011-09-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

Do you have a need for order? Are you the type of person who gets irritable if your house or desk is out of order? In other words, does a lack of order cause an emotional reaction? If so, you are not alone. Many people are adversely affected by a lack of order, which is often related to the condition of their childhood environment. Many people crave order as a result of growing up in chaotic home environments. Whether there were emotional conflicts between family members, or the challenge of trying to find your belongings, chaos can leave its impression in adulthood. You can either continue the pattern of chaos as it is familiar and comfortable, or you can do the opposite, so as not to feel the same way you did as a child. A lack of order can be associated with a lack of control. Thus, life feels overwhelming. It is then necessary to gain control. You want to know where the scissors are when you need them.

We often hope for order, but do not always take the time to create order. It takes someone coming to visit for a weekend to put things in order. During times of feeling emotionally overwhelmed, put something simple in order. Clean out a drawer. Tidy up a closet. Order allows us to feel grounded and renews our feeling of security in the world.

Embracing Change

2011-09-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Change is necessary. Yet, many people fear change to the point of avoiding change. It is easier to hold onto the familiar when you are afraid of the unknown. Change challenges our fear of the unknown. We do not know what will happen once things change. Yet, we forget that life is always changing. Seasons change. Children grow and change. Relationships change. People change. If you fear change, you are likely to hold onto the past, the old and the familiar. You resist change. Your sense of security is tied to keeping things the same. With the fear of change is often the belief that change is bad. It is the idea that if things change in your life, you will not be okay. You will not be safe. That is not true. Look around you and notice what has changed or what is in the process of changing. Change is inevitable. Know that all things in life will change, and must change. Accept and embrace change and your life will open to unlimited possibilities. Change is good.

I embrace change. Change is good.

The Gift of Time

2011-09-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a gift. It had been a long time since I had some time for myself. I was given the time and therefore, I sat with its message. I walked, as I do most days, but chose today to walk alone and without music in my ears. I chose to walk in silence. I wanted to be open to the thoughts and wisdom that came from within, as I walked in the rain. Unlike what I would find on a warm and sunny day, I was the only one walking my typical path. The message rang loud and clear that I was being given time for myself. I quickly realized that I rarely take time for myself. I can have time when it is given to me, but I do not know how to take time. I will make time when there are family responsibilities or obligations to meet. In other words, I will take a day off to visit colleges with my daughter Kelci. I will take time when I am asked to take time, like when the kids were home sick from school. I will take time when I work the weekend programs. In other words, I have to have a reason to take time. Today provided me with the gift of understanding my relationship with time.

The truth is that time is a constant. Everyone gets the same amount of time in a day, regardless of how it is spent. How do you choose to spend your time? When given extra time, will you work or play? What is your personal relationship with time?

Do you wait for time to magically appear? Or do you secretly hope that someone will give you permission to take some time? In other words, do you feel worthy of your time? Many people feel guilty or ashamed if they get time, take time or have time. They immediately think of things that they should be doing. The truth is that you are worthy of your time. Yet until you feel worthy of your time, you are not likely to make time for you and for the things that you value. As a child,you may have received a different message about time. If you were hurried or rushed regularly, you were not allowed to take your time. Take a moment to think about how that might develop in your living, even as an adult. You cannot take your time. The ego reiterates that you are unworthy of your time. It further suggests that the time of others is more important than your time.Your time is not valuable, therefore it can be easily tossed aside.

Time is an essential ingredient to living a happy life. It is necessary to have time to spend on yourself, as well as in ways that enhance your living. Give yourself the permission you need to have the time that you deserve. Make time for yourself. Take time for yourself. Share your time with others, but insure that you have your time as well. .Act as if you are worthy of your time by safeguarding it. After all, your time is valuable and sacred. Take your time.

Creating a Balanced Life

2011-09-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ahhh....balance. You may agree that life is good when there is balance. It is important to note, however, that balance does not in any way suggest perfection. Your life and all matters within your life are not expected to be perfect, only in balance. It can be said then that balance is more of an attitude, than an actual life experience. Balance allows you to be peaceful with the matters of life. You may have laundry to do, but you remain peaceful. To live a balanced life is to put aside the emotional drama. There is no need to react or to over react, to blame or to defend. Your life, and all that it entails, will be taken care of. When balanced, you get things done. You move from one task or obligation to another, with a sense of peacefulness. You remain patient with those around you. You listen as others speak. You get your work done and you do it well. You smile throughout your day. You take time for yourself and for others. You manage your life in all aspects needed, without complaint. You ask for help. You wait patiently. You go with the flow; you can let go of an expected outcome and trust the unknown. You can allow things to evolve, to grow and to change. You see the good in all situations and in all people. You are balanced. And from this balanced place, there is an inner peace that recgonizes that you are safe and all is well.

How do you create Balance?

The following are keys to creating a balanced life:

1. Take time for yourself. Enjoy your own company.

2. Breathe. Take deep breaths throughout your day.

3. Develop tools for staying grounded (meditation, guided imagery. therapy)

4. Burn incense or sage.

5. Release negative emotions.

6. Connect lovingly with others.

7. Read inspirational material. Avoid the news and television drama.

8. Take a walk or other physical activity.

9. Acknowledge your gratitude.

10. Be restful. (Get adequate sleep)

11. Take time in nature.

Feeling Successful

2011-09-26T05:56:00.000-07:00

Most people yearn to feel accomplished. It is the idea that you have accomplished something that you set out to do. In other words, you have achieved success. And even more importantly, you are successful. We yearn to feel successful. Too often, people feel quite the opposite. They feel that they have failed. They then internalize the thoughts and feelings and eventually identify themselves as a failure. That is, I am a failure. Consequently, they become quickly frustrated in their attempts or worse yet, they quit before they try. They then set their sights either on something large or something later. When I get my college degree, I will be successful. When I marry and have children, I will be successful. When I write a book, I will be successful. When I earn more money, I will be successful. Sadly though, it also means that success must wait until later. Why wait? Begin today to cultivate success in your life. Find something that you can easily accomplish today. Put away the baskets of laundry. Clean out the kitchen drawer. Organize your desk. Choose a task that you know that you can accomplish in a reasonable amount of time. In that way, you will avoid the common feeling of defeat that underlies failure. Make the task enjoyable by playing music or enjoying a cup of tea. And then tomorrow, find something else to accomplish. With a string of daily accomplishments, you will begin to feel success rising from the depth of your being. There lies the feeling of victory, success and pride in oneself. You are successful.

Last night I was in bed, when I realized that I had not written my daily blog. Several nights prior, I had gone to bed very late and therefore, I felt tired. In addition, my body was tired from closing the pool the day before and doing various other projects around my house. I thought about jumping out of bed and getting my computer to write, and then I told myself that it was okay. It had been a day of accomplishment. There were things that had been on my list for months, if not a year, and I chose to accomplish them today. I went to sleep knowing that I had accomplished a great deal in my day. I went to sleep peacefully and awoke this morning ready to write. And so, I challenge you to step into your success…

What can you accomplish today?

How happy are you?

2011-09-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

On a scale of 0-10, how happy are you in your life at the present time? What will it take to move that number up? When we do not feel happy in our lives, it is due to the fact that we are looking for happiness from the outside. We are looking to someone or something to make us happy and to make life more fulfilling. We are in a place of lack. We are lacking. And when we are in this place of lack we unconsciously look elsewhere for satisfaction. We put an emphasis on something (a new home, new job, a second child, and a new vehicle) in hopes of feeling happy again. The truth is that true happiness will never come from a purchase or a relationship. It can only come from within. People have a difficult time in understanding this powerful and essential concept. No person or things will ever making you happy. You will make you happy. Your thoughts will make you happy. Your happiness is directly related to how you feel about yourself. Just for today, ask yourself this question: How can I make myself happy in this now? And then do it…

Just for today, make yourself happy!

Affirmation:

I am responsible for my happiness or my misery. I choose happy.

Days Go By

2011-09-23T19:46:00.000-07:00

Today I am filled with love and gratitude as I celebrate my daughter, Kelci's 18th birthday. It seems so surreal. It feels like yesterday when I would braid her beautiful platinum blond hair, and make her pretty little dresses for Easter or Christmas. She grew up so fast. I feel like the last 10 years whizzed by. She is now employed, applying to colleges, and enjoying greater independence. As a parent, I am so excited for her, but I also feel sad that she is almost ready to launch. The days continue to go by. As they do, I am reminded of the song, Cats in the Cradle by Cat Stevens. Life has a way of eating up our precious time with loved ones. There is always so much to do, and rarely the quality time to just be together. I remember when Kelci was small and slept in a loft bed. I would lay on the floor and do a relaxation meditation for her to fall asleep.Those were precious moments now held fondly within my memory, and of course in my heart. There were many such precious moments. I continue to capture those moments as both my girls contiue to grow and mature and become more independent.

As I teach others, it is important to learn how to live in the present. In this way, you are less likely to live with regret. For instance, being present to the moment means that you are actually mindful of the experience you are participaiting in it, rather than longing for the past or wishing for the future. In being in the present you are able to actually enjoy it more fully. And then when the present moment passes, you will not feel as if you need to bring it back. You can readily embrace the next moment

Days go by. I no longer need to braid her beautiful hair, but greatly enjoy the occasional pedicure together or talking about her day. Similarly, I enjoy being with Marissa, my 13 year old, who is following quickly in her sisters footsteps. There is a busy-ness to our lives that I know will not always be there. Yet I would never change it. I simply need to insure that I take the time to be with them.

No matter what your current life offers, be mindful in your living. Do not allow the hours or days to pass without your recognition and appreciation. Practice the Buddhist philosophy of Be Here Now.
Do not dwell on the past, you cannot bring it back. Do not worry about the future, it is going to be whatever it is. Be present to today and savor the joyful moments.

Managing the Household

2011-09-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

There are times when managing a household can feel overwhelming, particularly during times of transition. In the Fall, there are pools to close, summer items to put away and warm weather clothes to put in drawers. And then of course there are the bills to manage, the laundry to do and the groceries to purchase. Although it may be tempting to want to put your hands in the air, and say "I give up. I can't do it anymore," you continue to persevere. You put one foot in front of the other and recognize that tomorrow is another day. But then, how does one successfully manage a household anyway? How do you keep all the balls up in the air, hoping that none will fall, while keeping your sanity? To think that there are women who single-handedly do everything, while there husbands or significant others mow the lawn or watch a football game, or simply criticize the way things are getting done. And there are those single-parents who don't have anyone else to offer assistance or even words of encouragement. They just do what they have to do with rarely a complaint. No one ever said managing a household, would be easy, but it is necessary. It is also not the most glamorous job to have, nor does it offer much appreciation or acknowledgement. Yet there is something satisfying in knowing that things are taken care of, or will be taken care of, that makes this position rewarding.

The following are some tips for making this job a little easier:

1) Be patient with yourself and others. Know that things will eventually get done.
2) Be reasonable. Have reasonable expectations for what can be done in the time that you have.
3) Request help. People will not necessarily volunteer to help, but will do so if expected to. And have you ever noticed that a person that does everything is typically a person who is not comfortable asking for help? Learn to ask for help.
4) Delegate. Help others to feel capable by giving them things to do that can help you out. People watching television really can fold laundry.
5) Give yourself a break. Recognize that you do not have to win anyone's approval nor do you have to be a superhero. Take time for yourself. Reward yourself for a good job.
6) Take things one task at a time.
7) Stay focused. Do not get distracted. Keep to a task until it is complete and then move onto something else.
8) Use online banking and have your bills paid electronically each month so that you do not have to think about it.
9) Keep a daily list of things to do to increase focus and efficiency. What didn't get done today can be first on the list for tomorrow.
10) Enjoy your home and family. Take time to relax and to appreciate the work that you do to make things nice for yourself and your family.

And of course, be grateful for your home and family. Life would be lonely without them. Remember that there may be a day in the not too distant future, when you will miss taking care of all of these things, and will reflect on how you ever did all that.

"The greatest things ever done on Earth
have been done little by little."
- William Jennings Bryan

Are you up for a Challenge?

2011-09-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

After attending various school functions each evening this week, I was initially considering skipping tonights school function, so as to get something done at home, ormore importantly, to spend time with the girls. When I arrived home, I asked the girls about the program, which they had attended earlier in the day. They both strongly encouraged Jamie and I to attend. I was interested as I had heard that the program, entitled Rachels Challenge, was inspirational.

I am so grateful to Newfield Middle and High School for bringing such a heart-warming and powerful message to the school community. The program was created in memory of Rachel Joy Scott , the first high school student shot in the Columbine High School Tragedy. Rachel kept a diary and wrote words of inspiration knowing that one day she would touch the lives of millions of people. Only weeks before the shooting that took 13 lives, Rachel had written an essay that later became the catalyst for inspiring greater kindness and compassion in the world. It was a wonderful presentation that depicted stories from her life in which she demonstrated kindness. For example, Rachel would choose to stand up for kids being bullied and sat with new students at lunch, so that they would not sit alone in the feelings of isolation and rejection.

Rachels challenge is: 1) to always see the best in others, 2) to have positive influences,3) to dream big, 4) to use kind words that heal, instead of hurt, and finally, 5) to create a chain reaction of kindness. It was a reminder of how important kindness is to creating a loving, supportive home, a caring neighborhood, an involved community and a world of peace. Kindness.
Such a simple concept that is too often ignored. Unfortunately, it takes human tragedy and natural disasters for many people to remember to practice kindness. The program encouraged students and parents alike to make a commitment to practicing the five values that most notably represented Rachel.

I wish to pass this challenge on to you. Are you willing to
always see the best in others,
to have positive influences,
to dream big,
to use kind words,
and to show others kindness?

Would it really be a challenge?

For more information, visit the link:
Rachel's Challenge

Nature's Gentle Reminders

2011-09-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

Thank you, Nature, for your gentle and ever present reminders:

The sun-- for reminding us that each day offers a new beginning.

The sky-- for showing us that life is full of endless opportunities.

The lakes-- for teaching us that wisdom comes only with stillness.

The waterfalls-- for life is not about how much or how little we have, but how persistent we are.

The rivers-- for demonstrating the steadiness with which we must move toward our dreams and ambitions.

The mountains-- for reminding us that beauty exists beyond the challenges in life.

The trees-- for knowing when to stand alone and when to embrace the support of a community.

The wind-- for encouraging us to be flexible and to move as God readily directs us.

The roads and highways-- for reminding us that there is always the means with which to move forward.

The moon-- for providing us with the necessary time to pause, rest, and replenish.

Thank you, Nature, for your gentle and ever- present reminders.

Going Below the Surface

2011-09-19T20:45:00.000-07:00

Shh....I am sleeping. I am unavailable, unaware, and even unwilling to wake up. Shh...please do not disturb me from what I perceive to be an unconscious bliss. I prefer to be removed from that which I may be responsible for creating in my life. I prefer sleep to wakefulness, unconscious to conscious, blame to responsibility (ability to respond). In that way, I can stay in denial and keep my life limited by familiar patterns. Shh...let me be, leave me alone. I know this place and I don't want it to change. In other words, Please do not disturb.

For those of you who know me, you may be surprised to hear that I had a session today in which I was completely speechless. I was sadly reminded of how some people want help, but are unwilling to change. They simply want their life to move in a way that brings greater light without ever eliminating the darkness. Typically, I am patient and understanding and want only to facilitate a deeper understanding of the real, underlying issues within a situation. But today it was different. I simply honored the individual's perception and gave her an appropriate referral. In the 20 years of practice, I am not sure that has ever happened. Hmm...I guess I met my match. I have accepted the fact that my work over the years has changed. I can no longer listen intently when a person chooses to stay in denial of their actions and reactions.

The truth is that although we may not always want to accept responsibility for our emotions, our past histories, our actions and reactions, we must learn to do so in order to grow emotionally and spiritually. It is not in our integrity to continue to blame people, places and experiences for causing us to react in certain ways. We choose how we will react. We are responsible for our feelings. We are responsible for our health and well-being. We are responsible for our financial gains or losses. I know that in the beginning it is hard to accept this reality. As humans, we are afraid to accept responsibility. It is as if we subconsciously return to the days of childhood when our survival depended on blaming a sibling or denying that we did anything wrong. When a parent questioned, "Who broke the glass?" the response was typically "Not me" or "I don't know." Blame and/or denial become the key coping skills so as to avoid the pain of feeling ashamed or "bad" about oneself. Why do we have to feel "bad"at all?

If only we could quickly recognize that no matter what, we are good people and worthy of love and acceptance.In other words, you are not a "bad" person...you are simply a person learning more about yourself and your living. No need to run or hide, just simply to acknowledge that you are human, capable of many things and responsible for your actions and reactions. "Yes, I did that." And now, you can go below the surface to understand more about why you do (or did) what you do and how you can do it differently. There is tremendous wisdom and healing below the surface, if only you have the courage to drop your defenses. After all you are a good person, worthy of love and acceptance.

Peace in the Heart

2011-09-18T20:32:00.000-07:00

How do you cultivate peace in your heart? The sad truth is that many people are restless and spend much, if not all, of their life looking for something to ease their restlessness. The mind is busy.The world is even busier. And so how does one experience true peace? To begin, you might choose a peaceful place; a place that is free of noise, chaos and distraction. Nature often provides a peaceful environment, as well as spending time alone. Some may find peace in a warm bath, or sitting in meditation. Others may include lying in a hammock or on a float in the pool on a warm summer day as peaceful. Peace is a feeling that comes from being at ease. There is a freedom from the worries of life. It is the ability to "be" rather than the need to "do." Peace is a feeling in which all is well with your world. Everything feels right. You are content in the moment, in the experience, in your living. But just how do you reach a content and peaceful place within yourself?

To cultivate peace in your heart one must heal the emotions which would otherwise distract you, You must begin to let go of your fears and your worries. Let go of your anger and resentment. Let go of your hurt and sadness. In this way you free your heart to experience the more wondrous feelings of joy, happiness and peace. It is also important to recognize that peace has a spiritual component. It does not matter what you believe in, only that you believe in somethng greater than yourself that has your best interest at heart. In this way, you have the option to surrender your emotional burdens. Often people confuse spirituality with religion, and are opposed to being a part of anything religious. Spirituality is much more than any particular religion. It is a personalized relationship with the Divine, which may include God, the Angels, the Universe, Buddha, Jesus, Mother Mary, Goddess, or even simply, a willow tree. Often people will experience a feeling of peacefulness when they attend a church or synagogue. Peace dwells within your spirit. When you nourish your spirit in whatever form, you will find peace. Take the time to cultivate peace in your life. Quiet the mind. Become centered. Breathe deeply. Embrace peace....

"What Would Ellen Say?"

2011-09-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

I have had numerous clients over the years tell me that, when confronted with a challenging situation, they will ask themselves, "What would Ellen say?" It is only until recently that I have allowed this understanding to sink into the depths of my being, not from a place of ego, but from recognizing that it is a responsibility to share the gifts that we are given. We are all here to grow and to understand ourselves on a deeper level in order for our lives to open more fully. Therefore, it is here that I can metaphorically open the door to my counseling practice and allow the wisdom, encouragement, and hope to touch more lives on a daily basis. And so, it is with love and gratitude that I share my thoughts and reflections here with the intention that others will find meaning and inspiration to enjoy their lives fully.